The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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