We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
