Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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