went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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