Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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