WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
