I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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