I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
