My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
