nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize