#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
