Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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