What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
