i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
