Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
