grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Do vagina's smell?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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