your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
