there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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