Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
