You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
