I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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