i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
