do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
How external is "for external use only"?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
