drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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