You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
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