you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
