so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
so let's talk penis.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
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