You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize
