He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
