In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
