So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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