Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
