apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Just high enough for therapy.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Damn victory sex feels great
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
