I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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