They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
