Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize