Plan B is the new Plan A
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
