apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
