we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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