I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
