When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Randomize
