Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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