No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
