Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
