Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
