I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Randomize