idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
