I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
