My friends, they love my intelligence
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize