come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
