i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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