She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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