Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
