I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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