Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
