What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
