I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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