If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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