I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
