their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
