why didn't you poke me back
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Also, beer. Big fan.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
