and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
