I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
