I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
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