Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
