Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
