i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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