Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
ttyl tear gas
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
