remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
